Mum Contract

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So when you have a baby, your life changes completely.  Right?!  It’s funny how we can look back on our lives before our children are born and think, wow wasn’t life different then, we could go on a spontaneous night out – like for a midweek cinema trip (I can’t remember doing this), we could watch Coronation street uninterrupted, we could go food shopping and casually walk around taking our time to choose which type of apples we want rather than throwing in the standard Granny Smith as we just don’t have the time anymore! It’s all good fun!

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Not long after the birth of my daughter

Here is my list of what we signed up for when becoming a Mama!!!

1. We can never pee in peace…or shower…or bath.  I don’t know what it is but every time I slip into the warm soapy bubbles of my bubble bath, after 5 minutes I have a child pushing open the door saying  ‘oh hello mama’ and then pulling up their sleeves and getting stuck in and looking at me saying….BOOOOBSSSSS

2. Having a Mum bag that’s full of crap that seems to get fuller and fuller as the weeks go by.  Every so often I have to completely empty the bag as it has such random stuff in it – a mouldy squishy banana (lush), odd socks, a Macdonald’s happy meal toy, pens, spare undies, 3 million dummies…the list goes on!

3. Not being able to have a conversation when the children are present.  Why is it when my hubby and I just want a little natter about something while the kids are quiet watching TV, they all of a sudden start asking us questions, interrupting us – its like they have a radar that goes off “BEEP BEEP Mommy and Daddy are talking, quick stop them NOW NOW NOW!!!!”

4. Having Mama fear…of everything.  Having children is an amazing gift but why oh why does it also bring with it so much fear and worry.  The worry of illness, their friendships, their abilities, eating habits, social skills.  The worry of if they will be bullied or if they will be the bully.  The worry for the future and if you will still be your little girls best friend when she is 14…

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My three

5. Having your bum firmly on the floor…for most of the day!  Having 3 children aged 7 and under I find that for most of my day at home I’m pretty much on the floor changing bums, playing jigsaw, games, clearing away toys etc.  Theres not chance I’m sitting on the sofa. I even find when I don’t have my children with me I’ll be sitting on the floor I’m so used to it!

6. Being a secret eater.  I do it, you do it, we all do it.  You give your children a healthy snack – a piece of fruit say or some cheese and crackers.  While quietly sneaking into the kitchen and quickly shove 2 biscuits into your mouth before one of them catches you in the act! You know we do it.

7. Mum Guilt! Not all the time do I feel guilty but more often that not i’ll feel guilty for going out, being on my phone, thinking about something that’s not child related, sneaking the biscuits (opps), feeling tired.  The list can go on.  I suppose with this one it’s about learning to feel that its ok to put yourself first sometimes! Easier said that done hey?!

8. We survive on caffeine.  Its the first thing you may reach for in the morning and then at night…its prob Wine! Is it wine o’clock yet?!

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Look at those bubbles

What else is included in our Mum contract – is there anymore points to add to the list? The funnier the better!

The Pramshed
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16 Comments

  1. February 6, 2018 / 9:10 am

    Sat here nodding along, especially to sitting on the floor (who remembers the comfort of a sofa?!) and the mum bag. Every week I seem to find mouldy satsumas in there and half eaten cereal bars… mmmm…

  2. Jenni - Odd Socks and Lollipops
    February 6, 2018 / 7:22 pm

    Oh yes a bag that is full of things that aren’t mine. The latest craze is sticks. I miss being able to go to the loo alone haha

  3. Jo bates
    February 6, 2018 / 7:26 pm

    I’d love to poo in peace!!! Oh them days, I remember you so well 🙂 xx

  4. February 7, 2018 / 8:03 pm

    Haha, love this – I was agreeing with so many of them, not sure when I last sat on the sofa and when I do I get dirty knees from little grubby hands clutching at me! haha

  5. February 12, 2018 / 8:22 pm

    There has to be something about saying farewell to strong pelvic muscles. It ain’t easy but we wouldn’t really have it any other way most of the time. #AnythingGoes

  6. February 13, 2018 / 11:01 am

    Your photos are truly stunning #globalbloggi g@_karendennis

  7. February 15, 2018 / 6:16 pm

    Fantastic list! The mum bag is frightening, I once saw a friend pull a poncho out of hers and look confused…she said she’d never seen it before. Yikes! #GlobalBlogging

  8. February 19, 2018 / 9:15 pm

    Yes to all of these! Would also add that we need to accept we will always go to bed with no idea what time we will be woken up in the night and how long we will be up for! I’m permanently knackered! Thanks for sharing with #fortheloveofBLOG

  9. February 24, 2018 / 7:57 am

    Haha before I started to read I thought, I haven’t had my morning coffee yet or my secret biscuit fix, haha. Funny post. I miss baths too x

    • February 24, 2018 / 10:14 pm

      Always reach for the morning caffeine! X

  10. February 24, 2018 / 8:17 am

    after looking at this it has made me think actually so much has changed over the years. love this post.

  11. February 24, 2018 / 2:47 pm

    Your dinner never fully being your own anymore ‘oo can I try that?’ and singing bloody cbeebies songs doing the food shop, always singing the lunchtime song at 12pm without even having to look at the clock too! Watching cbeebies after they have left the room and being utterly transfixed on what crap Chris and Pui will do next. Yep, every damn day! haha x

    • February 24, 2018 / 10:12 pm

      Haha love this made me chuckle! Always leave the kids tv programmes on and they’re not even in the rooms x

  12. jemmaloneblog
    February 24, 2018 / 6:22 pm

    This made me chuckle. I agreed to each and every one lol. Especially the mum guilt!

    Jemma x

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