Well Baby K is now 1 years old! I cannot believe how this past 12 months has flown by, right before my eyes despite having a busy year of being at home watching him grow into the little man he is today. I definitely think that sleep deprivation helps towards time going super fast. Days merge into one, night merges into days and before you know it, 6 months have gone by and your surviving off caffeine and play dates! Oh and a glass of wine of course!
I always wanted 3 or 4 children. I am one of three myself so it always felt like a good number. My husband and I discussed this and agreed three was what we wanted if we were blessed enough. As Baby K is our third, I think that I have approached his 1st birthday with some sadness and hesitation. Don’t get me wrong, I am privileged to see him turn 1, I feel honoured and lucky to have three healthy children. BUT, I feel sad that as he is our last child and I will never get that first year with a baby again. Selfish, maybe. But the truth.
I cried a few tears over his birthday weekend. Tears of happiness, of feeling so proud of him, of feeling sad my first year with him has vanished before my eyes. I cannot help but feel that sadness that I will never experience being pregnant again (although I don’t want that strain put upon my body again), of not giving birth and having the baby skin to skin, of not bringing the baby home and relinquishing in that newness and what will become of this little person. Of hearing that newborn cry, that smell, the smallness of a little human tucked in the nook of my arm.
Having said all of that, I know I don’t want another baby, but I think it’s almost coming to terms with saying goodbye to that phase and moving on to the next. With the other two, I never felt this way because I knew we would extend our family one day. This time is different and I know we won’t be experiencing them feelings and situations again.
I feel this post is a little negative – I really don’t want it to be! I am so happy and proud of Baby K and the little dude he has become and I am cherishing all the memories I have had over the last 12 months (and years prior with my other two) and I am so excited as always to watch my children grow, learn and develop their identities. I thank my younger self that I have always captured all these important memories to hold onto and continue to do so now.
We’ve had such a wonderful year watching him grow. He is adored by his big brother and sister and he’s been lucky enough to have many trips out as a family as well as a few holidays too. We’ve been sleep deprived. I’ve been pulled in all directions possible (with three kids, I feel like I need another set of hands!) We’ve juggled our new life as a family of 5 and we’ve made it! We’ve survived and I couldn’t be prouder of my family. We’ve seen baby K meet his 1st year milestones and watched his little personality shine through. Watching him crawl for the first time on Christmas day was a real highlight!
Baby K had a wonderful day celebrating turning 1. He is super lucky to be surrounded by amazing family and friends who all came to see him and eat some of his Olaf birthday cake! For now, I look forward to him starting his second year of life, beginning to walk (it will be very soon I can tell you!) and watching him grow into a toddler. I’ve learnt to cherish every second of their childhood and absorb and soak in every detail (I know how important it is)…
I know Baby K will always be the baby and I am going to hold onto that for as long as I can!
Happy 1st Birthday Dude…
Are you done with having babies? How do you know? Hop on over to Navigating baby to see what she thinks!