Baby K’s 1st birthday – My Last Baby

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Well Baby K is now 1 years old!  I cannot believe how this past 12 months has flown by, right before my eyes despite having a busy year of being at home watching him grow into the little man he is today.  I definitely think that sleep deprivation helps towards time going super fast.  Days merge into one, night merges into days and before you know it, 6 months have gone by and your surviving off caffeine and play dates!  Oh and a glass of wine of course!

Baby K is being photographed as a newborn lying on his front asleep

Baby K at 9 days old

I always wanted 3 or 4 children.  I am one of three myself so it always felt like a good number.  My husband and I discussed this and agreed three was what we wanted if we were blessed enough. As Baby K is our third, I think that I have approached his 1st birthday with some sadness and hesitation.  Don’t get me wrong, I am privileged to see him turn 1, I feel honoured and lucky to have three healthy children.  BUT, I feel sad that as he is our last child and I will never get that first year with a baby again.  Selfish, maybe.  But the truth.

I cried a few tears over his birthday weekend.  Tears of happiness, of feeling so proud of him, of feeling sad my first year with him has vanished before my eyes.  I cannot help but feel that sadness that I will never experience being pregnant again (although I don’t want that strain put upon my body again), of not giving birth and having the baby skin to skin, of not bringing the baby home and relinquishing in that newness and what will become of this little person.  Of hearing that newborn cry, that smell, the smallness of a little human tucked in the nook of my arm.

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Having said all of that, I know I don’t want another baby, but I think it’s almost coming to terms with saying goodbye to that phase and moving on to the next.  With the other two, I never felt this way because I knew we would extend our family one day.  This time is different and I know we won’t be experiencing them feelings and situations again.

I feel this post is a little negative – I really don’t want it to be!  I am so happy and proud of Baby K and the little dude he has become and I am cherishing all the memories I have had over the last 12 months (and years prior with my other two) and I am so excited as always to watch my children grow, learn and develop their identities.  I thank my younger self that I have always captured all these important memories to hold onto and continue to do so now.

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We’ve had such a wonderful year watching him grow.  He is adored by his big brother and sister and he’s been lucky enough to have many trips out as a family as well as a few holidays too.  We’ve been sleep deprived.  I’ve been pulled in all directions possible (with three kids, I feel like I need another set of hands!) We’ve juggled our new life as a family of 5 and we’ve made it!  We’ve survived and I couldn’t be prouder of my family.  We’ve seen baby K meet his 1st year milestones and watched his little personality shine through.  Watching him crawl for the first time on Christmas day was a real highlight!

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Baby K had a wonderful day celebrating turning 1.  He is super lucky to be surrounded by amazing family and friends who all came to see him and eat some of his Olaf birthday cake! For now, I look forward to him starting his second year of life, beginning to walk (it will be very soon I can tell you!) and watching him grow into a toddler.  I’ve learnt to cherish every second of their childhood and absorb and soak in every detail (I know how important it is)…

Birthday bunting saying I am One

Olaf birthday cake

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I know Baby K will always be the baby and I am going to hold onto that for as long as I can!

Happy 1st Birthday Dude…

Are you done with having babies?  How do you know?  Hop on over to Navigating baby to see what she thinks!

 

Winnettes
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33 Comments

  1. March 8, 2018 / 7:15 am

    Aw happy birthday baby K!💫💛

  2. Jo bates
    March 8, 2018 / 7:47 am

    Reading this with tears of happiness & slight sadness too!!! It’s not a negative post but a very true one!!! Sometimes in life we have to put ourselves first and with 3 kids it’s pretty hard, it’s nice to be you again & not just mommy…….HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY K 💜💜

    • March 8, 2018 / 9:18 am

      Your right I know – three is enough!! I think ill always be broody though no doubt! x

  3. March 8, 2018 / 9:29 am

    I can definitely relate to this post so much. My last baby turns two in a couple of weeks and I feel exactly the same. It’s hard to know you will never hold another little one of your own.

    • March 8, 2018 / 9:42 am

      It’s so hard knowing this! I watched OBEM last night and craved the newborn’s haha!!!!

  4. March 8, 2018 / 10:36 pm

    Ahh happy birthday! My last baby will be 4 in may and I hate it! Although he is my fifth, I still struggle that there will be no more!

    • March 8, 2018 / 10:45 pm

      I don’t think the feeling will ever leave me!

  5. Jenni - Odd Socks and Lollipops
    March 9, 2018 / 1:36 pm

    Awww tie really does pass so quickly doesn’t it. My daughter starts school this year and I can’t believe it. She is my only child and she will always be my baby

  6. March 9, 2018 / 3:35 pm

    Aww happy birthday Baby K! It was my little ones first birthday a couple of weeks ago too and I couldn’t believe where the year went. I felt so emotional too, I think it’s a big day for the mother too, I even said I think we deserve presents too… hahah! 😉

  7. March 9, 2018 / 9:14 pm

    Happy birthday baby k!! Such an emotive post- I’m pretty sure our Oscar is our last baby even though I don’t want him to be!!

  8. Siobhan McLoughlin
    March 9, 2018 / 10:34 pm

    Aww happy 1st birthday to Baby K. It is hard to acknowledge those baby days going by so quickly But there are so many exciting times ahead x

  9. March 11, 2018 / 6:28 pm

    It is bittersweet when every milestone is a “last”. My baby starts secondary school in September – eek!

    • thewillowtree1
      March 11, 2018 / 6:43 pm

      Wow a new and exciting start!

  10. March 11, 2018 / 6:29 pm

    I understand exactly how you feel, I lost 8 babies before falling pregnant with my Daughter, and desperately wanted more, but my husband didnt as he had 2 boys already as well, so we decided not to try but if it happens we will go with it. I loved watching my Daughter grow but wanted time to slow down x

    • thewillowtree1
      March 11, 2018 / 6:43 pm

      Im so sorry for your losses! But yes your right, time goes way too fast!

    • thewillowtree1
      March 11, 2018 / 6:41 pm

      Thank you! It goes so quick doesn’t it!

  11. March 11, 2018 / 7:03 pm

    Belated happy birthday. I hope the next year will be full of fun for all of you!

  12. March 12, 2018 / 8:31 am

    Happy birthday baby K! Beautiful photos. It goes far too quickly doesn’t it? X

    • thewillowtree1
      March 12, 2018 / 9:10 am

      Too quick for my liking!

  13. Matt O’Connor
    March 12, 2018 / 12:34 pm

    Lovely post about a very special boy 💙💙

  14. March 16, 2018 / 10:51 am

    Happy birthday Baby K! Our twins are due in a few weeks and they’re our last, but with being two of them I dont get the time to spend on one to soak in his last milestones. I suppose I’m lucky that there are two though..
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back next week!

  15. March 17, 2018 / 9:00 pm

    I completely understand your viewpoint! My youngest is about to turn 2. I want another baby but my fiance doesn’t. I feel like I didn’t appreciate the milestones enough and make the most of the baby days as I didn’t realise I wouldn’t go through them again. #triumphanttales

    • March 18, 2018 / 10:30 am

      Them days go by so quickly – I wish we could go back in time!

  16. March 20, 2018 / 12:11 pm

    Happy first birthday to your little man. Those first 12 months go by so fast. I don’t think it is negative at all, when you know a baby is your last it is so bitter sweet. Every first is also a last and it can make it so emotional. Even if you are happy with the overall decision.
    Thank you for joining #ThursdayTeam

    • March 20, 2018 / 8:56 pm

      Very emotional – he’s now starting walking and although I’m super excited and happy and also wishing time to slow down!

  17. March 20, 2018 / 7:40 pm

    Aah, as the saying goes, the nights are long but the years are fast. Oh so fast. Lovely pictures, thanks for linking up to #fortheloveofBLOG x

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